So the high today was three degrees with an expected low tonight of minus twenty-six . . . below zero . . . as in your nostrils will freeze together, that is, if you can manage to even take a breath. That doesn’t sound like global warming you scoff, but believe me, up here in the North Country (i.e. western Minnesota) this weather is downright balmy!
Back in the day, winter started around Halloween and finally fizzled somewhere south of Easter. Snow piled up five to six feet deep, just the right height for tunneling out snow forts. You could count on at least a few snow days every winter― those glorious free holidays every kid prayed for. Summers were short but all the more magical precisely because they were so brief and fleeting. We were proud of our bracing weather― kept out the riff raff. Hats were uncool as was zipping up your parka. And a little frostbite never hurt anyone. . .
Nowadays, winter is still coldish but pretty much follows the calendar’s officially allotted dates for the season. Sure, the mercury occasionally drops to the nether regions (those days are commonly referred to as “a bit nippy”) but we actually have spring now and summers practically border on the hot and steamy.
I got a tad nostalgic there and you may be wondering: Do I long for those blizzardly days of yesteryear? Do I yearn for that special feeling you only get when you wake up, look out the window and see nothing but white and the news says everything is cancelled? Am I so grown up that I rejoice in twenty degree lows and obsolete snow blowers?
Are you kidding? Of course I am! Global warming rocks! Yeah, yeah, the ice cap is melting and storms are off the Richter scale (oops, mixed my metaphors there or something) but my blood has thinned and I like wearing short sleeves in January. It’s time the rest of the country bucks up. You didn’t hear us whining about the weather all these centuries . . .
Okay, I guess global warming is mostly bad but I for one won’t be upset when my house turns into beach front property . . .