So I’m off to Vegas on Monday because two friends and I turned fifty in 2012 and we decided to celebrate and/or commiserate this milestone by going on a trip. Let’s go to Hawaii, we said but circumstances, mainly of a monetary nature, thwarted this plan hence this much, much, much cheaper but no less adventuresome alternative.
I think Las Vegas is great! I’ve been there a few times, not to gamble ―because I have some weird electromagnetic karma that prevents the slot machines from letting me win― but to immerse myself in the sights and sounds of that sparkly town that cannot be found anywhere else. It’s like going to an alien planet, not that I’ve been to an alien planet no matter what you’ve heard, and as long as you don’t make extended eye contact with anyone, you are relatively safe.
Here’s what I love about Las Vegas:
1. The blinking, blinding, seizure-inducing lights.
2. The perpetual ting, ting of slot machines devouring the innocents’ and not so innocents’ money.
3. The unsmiling casino workers who, with good reason, probably despise all of humanity.
4. The cheesy souvenir shops and the $10 Stores where everything is, you guessed it, $10.
5. The strange, weird, scary, laughable mix of people who descend on this desert oasis to find their fortune, love (?!), or temporary escape from reality.
6. The Star Trek Experience that I just found out closed in 2008! But fortunately, I got my Star Fleet pin and personal Klingon picture the last time I was there.
Las Vegas is an experience, one that if you’re not careful can swallow you whole but if you keep your head and don’t buy into the hype, can be one heck of a good time. Besides, we three “old” ladies aren’t going to go looking for trouble and I’m pretty sure trouble is not going to be looking for us! The most daring thing I’m planning to do is play Roulette, which I’ve never done before and, gosh darn it, it’s time I took a walk on the wild side . . .
. . . Well, not the real wild side ‘cause I just don’t have the temperament but I will leave my “mom” jeans at home and I did just buy a long, black coat . . . You know what they say, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas . . .”
Or in my case, gets written about on this blog so no chance of any sin going on in Sin City for me . . .