So I’ve come to the realization that my defining characteristic is laziness. I spent many years in denial and many more clueless, simply because I had too much to do to notice, which doesn’t make a lot of sense but childrearing (which, by the way, is a creepy word) doesn’t allow one much time to be lazy.
Once I got over the clueless phase (i.e. the kids grew up), I entered into denial. Laziness is not a trait championed by society. No one looks at their newborn babe and goes, “Aw, gee, I hope you grow up to be lazy. . .” One is supposed to be productive or, at the very least, busy. If you don’t have all the date boxes in your planner filled, people think there is something wrong with you. Self-doubt turns to loathing when you compare the blank pages in your calendar with the graffiti- filled ones of everyone else on the planet.
What in the world are these people doing? I always wondered nervously. Oh sure, there is the requisite maintenance inherent in life like scrubbing toilets and grocery shopping but that doesn’t count. Worried that my secret would be discovered, I spent years trying to hide my laziness by being vague about my activities and implying busyness where only couch potato-ness existed. I tried to convince myself I wasn’t lazy just introverted (true, but not sure what that has to do with being lazy) and I needed a lot of time to ponder stuff (also true but again, no correlation to laziness).
Well, no more. I’ve decided I’m coming out of the closet. I’m admitting to myself and the world that I. Am. Lazy. And. Proud. Of. It! In fact, I think the world needs more lazy people. Do lazy people start wars or mess with the economy? Of course not! We sit on our sofas. We watch TV. We write blogs when we finally decide that five days of thinking about writing doesn’t equal actual writing. We may not accomplish much but then again being busy doesn’t accomplish much except being tired and tired people are cranky and way more likely to wreak havoc in the world. On the other hand, we Lazies are a happy lot who wouldn’t hurt a fly, mainly because that would involve getting off the sofa but still.
There is so much more I could say about the virtues of laziness and how it’s an overlooked quality and someday I will band us Lazies together and take over the world . . .
I really would do it.
If I wasn’t so dang, well, you know . . .