So, as I said in Parts One and Two, I am no theologian. But then again, theologians don’t have a direct line to God any more than the rest of us. In fact, I think most God-initiated happenings happen to ordinary folks. And children. They get a lot of visits from the spirit world because they are still open to the wonder and magic that is God. But that’s another story.

To recap, Number One: God Loves You. Number Two: God Has A Great Sense of Humor.

Here is Number Three:

God Knows Everything.

This means exactly what it says: God. Knows. Everything. Which really means: You. Cannot. Hide. From. God. God knows what you do, think and dream about every second of every day. He knows your hopes and fears and your deepest, darkest secrets. This is terrifying. It’s bad enough the government and all major corporations know more about us then . . . well, I was going to say God but you know what I mean. At least for now, they can’t probe the innermost regions of our minds. God doesn’t even have to blink to know what lurks in the dusty, forgotten corners of our psyches.

That’s why I don’t get the Mafia. They are supposedly devout Catholics―in the movies anyway― and I wonder what kind of mental gymnastics they have to perform to reconcile their behavior with their faith. Do they think they are fooling God? Not that I really want to know what goes on in their heads and please don’t forward this to any Mafia folks you may or may not know as I don’t think they have a great sense of humor.

I think a lot of us honestly believe we can pull one over on God. Like He dozes off every once in a while in His Lazyboy and wakes up with a start going, “I was just . . . resting my eyes. Hope I didn’t miss anything important. . .” Fortunately for us: See Number Two.

Here’s the really weird part: See Number One . . .


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