So I’ve been writing this blog for about a year and I have a whole 46 followers (a big thanks to each and every one of you!) It’s kinda weird that people who sign up to read blogs are called followers as if us blog writers are heaven-sent messengers whose words are so divinely inspired they just compel folks to be our disciples, er, I mean, followers.
I must admit, it is exciting to get that notification informing me I have amassed yet another follower. I eagerly check out their blogs to give them a Like or a Follow back, you know, in case they turn out to be real heaven-sent messengers. Recently, I clicked About to check out a new follower’s blog and lo and behold! Their blog was all about how to make buckets of money by working one minute a day while lounging on the beach in an exotic far-off land and they were more than willing to share* their secret with me! (*For a small, undisclosed fee.)
Wow! I thought. I must really be special for this blogger (i.e. heaven-sent messenger) to single me out and bestow upon me the secret to financial riches without having to, well, work! After my mind got tired of spending all my future loot, it occurred to me that this might not be totally legit. I mean, the only jobs I know that require little work with huge payoffs are: Drug dealer (once you’ve clawed your way up the ladder, that is, and you have minions to do all the dirty work), Politician (ditto), CEO (ditto again). On a side note, try not to be a Minion− low pay, questionable job description and, I’m pretty sure, no dental.
Unfortunately, I have on occasion, been duped into buying sure-fire tickets to fame and fortune: “Make Money Reading!” “Make Money Writing!” Needless to say, I did not make any money reading or writing− the only people who made money on those deals were the slick-talking con artists who relieved me of my money.
That being said, I’ve decided that I, too, want to make oodles of money without doing any actual work. I don’t need to live on a beach in some exotic land− I’m not that greedy− but I would like to pay off my mortgage and go to Disneyworld once a year. As I am not one of those people who can bamboozle others out of their money without giving them something in return ― as I have nothing in return to give ― I’m a bit kerfuffled.
Fortunately, after long minutes of contemplation, I have come up with a solution. One where there is no song and dance so you patsies, er, investors know exactly what you’re getting into, which is as follows: You send me money (this is the me-getting-rich without working part.) This is where the what-you-get-in-return part should be but as I said, you will get nothing in return except the pleasure of knowing you didn’t get snookered. Oh, and that you helped line the pockets of a possible heaven-sent messenger.
After all, I do have all these disciples, er, followers and what’s the point of being a Heaven-sent Messenger if you can’t make a little moolah on the side. . . (No checks please.)
P.S. I am joking so please DO NOT send me money . . . unless you really want to. . . (No checks please.)