So last week’s post made fun of all those “fake” bloggers who promise that*― without any work whatsoever― us “real” bloggers can become rich and live in expensive mansions on the beach with really cool swimming pools plus all the time in the world to do all that fun stuff we would never be able to do in our humdrum, nose-to-the-grindstone lives. (*for a small, undisclosed fee)
I wish I could say I found paradise and have joined the ranks of the unemployed ―as in so rich I don’t have to do any actual work―but I haven’t. That is just as well because how much time can you spend at the beach anyway and I have sensitive skin and lazying around doing nothing all day is . . . well, that part sounds pretty good but I have reaped another kind of reward that while not exactly priceless gives me satisfaction of another sort in the way of righteous contempt and haughty superiority.
I laugh behind their backs with the smug knowledge that I, a lowly, poor, insignificant “real” blogger have trumped them at their own game. “How is that?” you ask breathlessly as you lean in close to the computer screen in eager anticipation. You see, after I naively and with all good intentions added the tag “blogging” to my last post, I got a well-spring of Likes and Follows from whom other than . . . “fake” bloggers!
WHF! I asked myself, genuinely perplexed and a bit disconcerted. Don’t these people read? The answer to that question is a resounding and confusing NO! At first, I was understandably upset. Us “real” bloggers don’t want a bunch of yahoos Liking us and Following our serious and important tomes that we spend hours crafting and honing in order to give our loyal and devout followers the verbal elixirs they thirst for.
As I was spouting oaths and curses at these Philistines, the beautiful karmic truth hit me. If these so called “fake” bloggers want to follow me . . . let them. Oh horrors! You are screeching at your electronic devices. Don’t succumb to their hypnotizing lies! Well, my true and faithful followers, do not fret. I have not gone over to the dark side. I have, however, decided to harness their evil power and use it for good. How, you ask with skeptic trepidation, am I going to accomplish such a monumental feat? I will tell you how: I am going to put, Blog, Blogging, Blogerlicous and Blogging for Dummies as tag lines for ALL MY POSTS!
You see, each and every Like and Follow just adds to my stats and with the unwitting help of these fiends, my numbers will soon reach into the hundreds, thousands, millions! And I will then have accomplished what they have only dreamed of . . . Blogging Nirvana!
So thank you “fake” bloggers for making my dream come true.
P.S. To all you “real” bloggers, all I ask is a small “donation” in exchange for giving you this priceless, proven, money-back guaranteed program to boost your blogging potential and realize your dream of living in an expensive mansion on the beach with a really cool swimming pool plus all the time in the world to do all that fun stuff you would never have been able to do in your humdrum, nose-to-the-grindstone life.
P.P.S. No checks please. . .